This is war.

Coordinate brain and mouth, then ask me what its like to have my self so figured out. Wish I knew.

I'm falling sick. Flu just popped out of nowhere (really)

Do you believe in friends? You know, when you actually open yourself up and let someone come close to you. When you start sharing a part of you. That's why it'll hurt. I don't know whether i have problems judging or i'm just plain dumb with things.

I mean there was a period of time i said hey, maybe there Is a reason why we've been put together. You try to put everything aside and love that friend. And things get so hard because you can't just try to forget about everything (how nice and easy) because YOU ACTUALLY CARE AND YOU DO GIVE A SHIT. So it just hangs there and isn't that just so fucked up?

Somehow i believe that we have to go through almost everything in life, from the loss of a loved one, to failing in school, to getting hurt by friends, all kinds of shit pierce right through you. Some things hurt and some things hurt a lot. I wonder whether it'll hit a point where nothing hurts you anymore. Maybe that's the reason why it has always seemed so easy for adults to just say forget it, or it's not worth it. And you know they really mean it when they say forget it. That is most likely because, they have gone through it before.

Well honestly, i'm really struggling with this. I don't know why it bothers me so much but i can't help feeling this way about things like that. I really can't have peace of mind when relationships don't go right.

Why am i even blogging about such shit, i, don't, blog, about, personal things. Recently i've been feeling so closed up. It feels as though i'm too tired to even just tell someone and let it all out. I'm really too tired to cry, i swear. Sometimes, i don't know how to even when i want to do so. How do you put all your feelings thoughts and emotions into words? It's true that you wouldn't understand unless i let you know how i feel but isn't it also true that you wouldn't fully understand everything, bascially because you can't feel the exact emotions? However, it'd be really nice if someone could just sit with you and stay silent with you while you know that that someone knows exactly how you're feeling or thinking. For me, i'd feel better if i were to stay in a quiet corner, listen to a few good songs and be really still in thought, than to tell someone everything. I'm really sorry for complaining so much.