Green Eggs & Ham

The layout has been bothering me so i didn't allow myself to blog until i changed it, too bad i'm too lazy now. The promotional results are out too, ha, ha. Life has been pretty strange in school lately, it has been feeling weirdly, floaty.

Well aside, it's funny how life can change so much over a short couple of years. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. I've been taking up old hobbies and i've been meeting up with my friends quite a bit. It has been making me think about the past. Although many dreadful things have happened this year, namely dodie going away, getting thrown into cj, my mum falling ill and much more other crap, i'm pretty thankful for the life i have now.

Do not read this if you're not utterly bored:

Just the other day, i received a msg from some ex boyfriend of mine from a really long time ago. Why did he msg? He apologised for messing up so much in the past (he did) and he hopes that i'd forgive him and things like that. It's not that i hate him now, no i don't think anyone would be able to carry so much hatred for that long. It's just that he was such a fatass bastard, he really was. I replied, (coldly because i don't want to be associated with him anymore, i once thought that he had changed but he taught me that a leopard never, ever changes its spots) asking him for the money which he still owes me, (three hundred bucks). I think i've gone through quite a few people to get the money back from him and although it's a petty sum of money and seriously, it's not just the money, i just find it so damn irritating that he cannot be a man (for once) and do something right (for once). AND to just close every debt we have with each other so i can have like zero relations with him. Afterall, it's only right that you return what you owe. Why does he owe me the money? A very long time ago, he went on some overseas school trip and during that period of time, i happened to find out from my friends that he cheated on me with some girl from his church. I didn't believe it of course and i dismissed it almost immediately. I told him about it later that night on msn and he called me (yes from overseas). While i didn't believe the rumours i heard, he was too busy trying to explain things, refusing to get off the line and choking a phone bill of four hundred bucks. He used his friend's phone and his friend's mum wanted the money and he didn't have the cash at that moment so i lent him the money first. I wanted to split the bill but he insisted on paying the full amount so i eventually let him.

Oh well yes, the rumour turned out to be true in the end, he made out with some girl called kathi and he told the truth only after we broke up. Bastard? Oh yes. That's not all, he was a possessive freak who deleted practically all the numbers and msn contacts of my guy friends. I wasn't allowed to wear skirts, or sleeveless tops, i couldn't talk to any guys at all.

Oh YES, this is the bomb, i was not allowed to talk/go out with my best friend. My Best Friend. I really didn't understand that part. I wasn't allowed to meet my clique either and i had to always somehow make myself unavailable for outings.

I remember i had a really bad headache once and i've this thing with panadol, i take lots of it and so i had this argument with him and he said he hope i'd get screwed somehow, get pregnant and die from all that panadol (while i was dying with headache and he didn't let me hang up to rest). I wanted to break up with him many times but he threatened to kill himself all the time. We spent late nights talking on the phone, i was crying so badly because i couldn't take it anymore and he still didn't let me off.

He broke up with me once, on the day before my birthday, wow you really cannot beat that. Yeah it was a teary painful birthday. Why did he do it? I wanted to meet my childhood friend with some others before he flew off to study and he didn't allow it and yes you know what happened.

He never sent me home, while i did, taking an hour long trip back home on my own at night. I paid for all the cab fares too. Once when he had to get home, i was going to be on my own and i wanted to buy something i was really craving for from KFC and (this is unbelievable) he forced me to go to burger king (which was only beside it) because "he didn't want me to be around the guys in KFC who couldn't afford bk" (The bitch is in the house huh?)

Oh how about this "i think you look nice in this skirt"
"can you not wear it, i don't like other guys looking at you, if you know what i mean"

So, it was bye bye skirt. Hmm, i can't believe i posted everything there. But that's not everything of course, it was more and much worse. I've been hearing rumours going around and i really couldn't think that there could be a bigger asshole around, or more retarded rumours

So now everyone knows, i don't care because i really really cannot be bothered. I just thought that some people out there might want to read this, (you know, the other side of the story which isn't fabricated), if you know what i mean.

Nah, i'm not bitter. To hell with everyone who wants to make noise about this post, it's my space.

But i'm happy with my life now. I've someone who understands me, gives me space and who most importantly respects me and loves me all the same.

Remember, do not give your heart away too easily, because, it would hurt, really badly.