red pick

2007-11-09T03:19:00.000+08:00

http://rabbitscantsing.blogspot.com

The changing of url sincerely entertains me.

2007-10-28T01:40:00.000+08:00

Wake me up when September ends

This was the feedback form we were given to fill after dinner. Zenn completed it of course. Check out the "there is not enough food, there are more desserts than food" part. Then, he conveniently left MY number behind.

I'd wear this dress just for the hell of it.

2007-10-25T23:50:00.000+08:00

Shann, and her daily adventures

"Shann! go return your books alright? your face is on some overdue list!" Haha, that, was the msg i received (from a friend) during my oral presentation dry run and i was like WHAT THE. (Yes i've been totally clueless, all this while)

No, i do not borrow books from the library and yes i do pay my fines, no i do not leave my books unreturned. The aircon in the library is just pretty nice.

My Dear Friend Joey Chan borrowed a book using my card and i think she plans to keep the damn book.

So, i think that explains this:

I went to the library to check and woah, WOAH i saw my freaking face on the library counter, (the library counter!!!!). I never ever knew you could get suspended from the library.

I AM SO GOING TO KICK HER ASS.

....I can't enter the library anymore :(

2007-10-21T19:27:00.000+08:00

Perfect eyes will have perfect hate

These are the other pictures from the other day. I have PW to do, i'm dreading it like crazy. I'm really craving for ice cream, maybe i'll take a short walk to replenish my ice cream supply. Oh, a little while back, mel msged my mum and my mum sent this to her

"Hi melissa, you are always welcome to our home any time, be it for chit chat or some screaming session with Shann the screamer or overnight stay" SHANN THE SCREAMER? And i'm like mum are you mad!

I've been wearing specs out for the past few days because, because, because, Neth has been throwing my lenses away (!!!). And this time, i had no spares left so yes, it was specs for me. I don't know whether she's short sighted or that she doesn't understand the contact-lens-container-concept but i was like WHAT THE bfeafbjkanjfkbnsjdfnks. So, i was msging my mum:

Me: mummy could you please order lenses for me, my degree's 275 for both sides
Mum: Ok you won't go blind. With or without glasses or lenses you are still my pretty precious darling
Me: awwwww so sweet, are you in a good mood? (she usually tells me how ugly i am)
Mum: i'm a sleepy head now, maybe that's why i'm sprouting nonsense
Me: hahaha :( nevermind i still love you
Mum: so sweet of you
Me: haha i'm sleepy too

Then fine, she didn't reply after that.

Mel and i met this little girl in some random shop. She's really hyperactive. Hyper, active. Her mum calls her "kitty" haha and she's just really cute and we totally loved her.

We played the erm, finger game haha. Then, she got rather fascinated by my watch.

I don't know whether my child would find it a misfortune to be erm my child because i think this thing is really cute and i'd definitely make him/her wear it hahaha.

Totallllllllllllllllly

2007-10-21T01:36:00.000+08:00

Never say never, it'll come back to haunt you.

Since i haven't been blogging (okay i will start blogging religiously soon), i shall post some pictures. Met the girls and we went back to stnicks. I cannot describe orange bowl, (but, it is definitely God sent) I've been secretly wanting to kidnap the orange bowl uncle. It was nice being back in school again and i've collected my O level cert (finally).

We celebrated michelle's birthday at my place. It was definitely a night of good fun :) we over ordered (courtesy of my mum) and enjoyed each other's company. Oh michelle if you're reading this, my mum said that you and rainer look cute together, hahahaha. She said she saw the both of you taking retarded pictures on the swing.

Then, it was my sister's birthday. This, is a retarded shot. My sister took the shot and she was like one two, and i was screaming STOP MESSING UP MY HAIR. (haha Try to guess who was messing my hair up)

I went for a grand shopping spree with my mum. I think we splashed away a whole chunk of my inheritance.

On the day i finished my papers, i met mel and we went to holland v, had a kickass lunch, went to brow haus, did some shopping and got a hell lot of vcds. Then, we headed over to my place, only to fall asleep while watching In Her Shoes haha.

On the way home, we went, bananas.

Melissa tan is, close to 170cm tall. Haha, having height is a blessing, okay

And not having height, just sucks.

2007-10-16T22:14:00.000+08:00

Green Eggs & Ham

The layout has been bothering me so i didn't allow myself to blog until i changed it, too bad i'm too lazy now. The promotional results are out too, ha, ha. Life has been pretty strange in school lately, it has been feeling weirdly, floaty.

Well aside, it's funny how life can change so much over a short couple of years. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. I've been taking up old hobbies and i've been meeting up with my friends quite a bit. It has been making me think about the past. Although many dreadful things have happened this year, namely dodie going away, getting thrown into cj, my mum falling ill and much more other crap, i'm pretty thankful for the life i have now.

Do not read this if you're not utterly bored:

Just the other day, i received a msg from some ex boyfriend of mine from a really long time ago. Why did he msg? He apologised for messing up so much in the past (he did) and he hopes that i'd forgive him and things like that. It's not that i hate him now, no i don't think anyone would be able to carry so much hatred for that long. It's just that he was such a fatass bastard, he really was. I replied, (coldly because i don't want to be associated with him anymore, i once thought that he had changed but he taught me that a leopard never, ever changes its spots) asking him for the money which he still owes me, (three hundred bucks). I think i've gone through quite a few people to get the money back from him and although it's a petty sum of money and seriously, it's not just the money, i just find it so damn irritating that he cannot be a man (for once) and do something right (for once). AND to just close every debt we have with each other so i can have like zero relations with him. Afterall, it's only right that you return what you owe. Why does he owe me the money? A very long time ago, he went on some overseas school trip and during that period of time, i happened to find out from my friends that he cheated on me with some girl from his church. I didn't believe it of course and i dismissed it almost immediately. I told him about it later that night on msn and he called me (yes from overseas). While i didn't believe the rumours i heard, he was too busy trying to explain things, refusing to get off the line and choking a phone bill of four hundred bucks. He used his friend's phone and his friend's mum wanted the money and he didn't have the cash at that moment so i lent him the money first. I wanted to split the bill but he insisted on paying the full amount so i eventually let him.

Oh well yes, the rumour turned out to be true in the end, he made out with some girl called kathi and he told the truth only after we broke up. Bastard? Oh yes. That's not all, he was a possessive freak who deleted practically all the numbers and msn contacts of my guy friends. I wasn't allowed to wear skirts, or sleeveless tops, i couldn't talk to any guys at all.

Oh YES, this is the bomb, i was not allowed to talk/go out with my best friend. My Best Friend. I really didn't understand that part. I wasn't allowed to meet my clique either and i had to always somehow make myself unavailable for outings.

I remember i had a really bad headache once and i've this thing with panadol, i take lots of it and so i had this argument with him and he said he hope i'd get screwed somehow, get pregnant and die from all that panadol (while i was dying with headache and he didn't let me hang up to rest). I wanted to break up with him many times but he threatened to kill himself all the time. We spent late nights talking on the phone, i was crying so badly because i couldn't take it anymore and he still didn't let me off.

He broke up with me once, on the day before my birthday, wow you really cannot beat that. Yeah it was a teary painful birthday. Why did he do it? I wanted to meet my childhood friend with some others before he flew off to study and he didn't allow it and yes you know what happened.

He never sent me home, while i did, taking an hour long trip back home on my own at night. I paid for all the cab fares too. Once when he had to get home, i was going to be on my own and i wanted to buy something i was really craving for from KFC and (this is unbelievable) he forced me to go to burger king (which was only beside it) because "he didn't want me to be around the guys in KFC who couldn't afford bk" (The bitch is in the house huh?)

Oh how about this "i think you look nice in this skirt"
"can you not wear it, i don't like other guys looking at you, if you know what i mean"

So, it was bye bye skirt. Hmm, i can't believe i posted everything there. But that's not everything of course, it was more and much worse. I've been hearing rumours going around and i really couldn't think that there could be a bigger asshole around, or more retarded rumours

So now everyone knows, i don't care because i really really cannot be bothered. I just thought that some people out there might want to read this, (you know, the other side of the story which isn't fabricated), if you know what i mean.

Nah, i'm not bitter. To hell with everyone who wants to make noise about this post, it's my space.

But i'm happy with my life now. I've someone who understands me, gives me space and who most importantly respects me and loves me all the same.

Remember, do not give your heart away too easily, because, it would hurt, really badly.

2007-10-07T23:13:00.001+08:00

If not letting you go is selfish of me,

then would going be selfish of you?

2007-10-04T22:52:00.000+08:00

Go east on Sunrise Highway
Turn left at Carmen's Avenue
Go right at the first stop-light
And I'll be outside, waiting for you
I'll Be waiting for you

Your name in lights
It was only a matter of time
Your name in parenthesis
Cause after this mess
I guess you bet
That I'd collapse before you do
Well maybe that's true
Or maybe it's not at all

Go east on Sunrise Highway
Turn left at Carmen's Avenue
Go right at the first stop-light
And I'll be outside, waiting for you
I'll be waiting for you

2007-10-01T21:16:00.000+08:00

I was utterly bored of bio and i had been stuck on the same chapter for the past 99 hours and i had like 200 more chapters to go so i guess i wasn't really very sane. Haha anyway, i had so many bits and pieces of paper which i had scribbled on and, i stared blankly into space for a while before i weirdly decided to lay out all the pieces of paper in a nice linear ordered manner on the carpet. And so, i didn't know my dad was behind me and when i turned around he was looking at me like i was a retard (he was almost laughing at me) (okay i am a retard) and he was like, erm what are you doing? and i was like, heh, erm, i'm playing with my notes. So, he blinked, laughed and walked away.

I can't decided whether i want tomorrow to come. Bio's going to be so shitty but it's going to be the last paper as well, finally.

Back to strawberries, ice cream and bio, ta ha.

2007-09-29T22:49:00.000+08:00

I know this hurts, it was meant to.

Why put a new address on the same old loneliness? When breathing just passes the time, until we all just get old and die. Now talking's just a waste of breath, and living's just a waste of death. So why put a new address on the same old loneliness?

And this is you and me, and me and you, until we've got nothing left.

2007-09-29T17:16:00.000+08:00

The inactive blogging is due to the promos of course.

I was fighting with myself, trying to sit my ass on that chair to study nonsense or maybe photosynthesis, i had finished my subway cookies and was falling asleep while msging the boyfriend;

I said "i'm getting sleepy haha hurry tell me a joke!!"

And the reply i got was "haha you are a penis"

HAHAHA WHAT THE HELL

2007-09-24T20:27:00.000+08:00

OMG MY HAMSTER REALLY DIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-09-23T02:17:00.000+08:00

I swear, that Mel and i are really crazy sometimes. That hole was really small okay haha.

This was a totally candid shot. I didn't even know she took it. I look so upset, as if i hated what i was reading, or my pet hamster died, or something.

2007-09-20T00:54:00.000+08:00

"And studying with the best friend was the best ever. I study best with the ever-so focussed and intelligent bestie, (: Love you. I'l have a spankin' good time tonight (: Yay, love you Shann Long!"

(YAYY!!)

2007-09-17T22:14:00.000+08:00

dressed in a fashion that's fitting to the
inconsistencies of my moods

Okay, Miss Janice Lin is erm not bitchy, (haha). (You're supposed to invite me over for tea!!)

I'm depressed. Okay i'm not really depressed. I'm just sad that school is such a waste of time. Oh oh tetris is SO ADDICTIVE. I was playing it during maths lecture today until my shoulders ached because i was in such a weird position. And before i knew it, i totally knocked out. Haha, it's really so bad because, i dreamt. I mean lecture was so boring and useless that i fell alseep without realising it and i went to lala land.

What would you say if someone came up to you and said, do you want to "eight thousand?" We were having dinner and my aunt was over so Neth (my maid) asked us, "do you want to eight thousand?" and we were all like HUH? (I thought i saw my aunt's eyes light up for a split second)

Okay, in actual fact, it was "do you want to eat tau suan".

I like wind breakers. They're warm.

2007-09-16T23:03:00.000+08:00

(The Spill Canvas still kicks ass)

Talking about spill canvas, i was swooning to jan, one fine day, about how nicely the guy sang some line in one of their songs. (He sings it crazy nice alright) and she was like, do you know that he's some fat shit? And i was like, ohhhhhh man haha but i still love that song anyway.

Hands up all you fellow mooncake fans :) I msged my dad, asking him to buy mooncakes and he replied "k darling.." haha i think he's super cute. I had subway for lunch, and curry for dinner, my stomach is more than satisfied. Oh yes, subway cookies really own.

I can't believe there's school tomorrow, again. And i can't seem to register the fact that monday-is-tie-day. (And i had to run into michael tan and wear the tie for a whole bloody week.)

Anyway, something super dumb happened in school and it went like this: TJS came up to me and insisted, really Insisted that i put on foundation. I was like OMG ARE YOU CRAZYYY while joey was like err, that's kind of her natural colour. And he went on saying "then why is your face so red?" I went totally like nuts almost screaming (i think i got a little too screamy with him) "omg foundation makes your face WHITE, BLUSHER on the other hand, RED. If you are saying that my face is red, then, you're trying to tell me that i have blusher on, NOT foundation." Okay, so he Still didn't believe me and i was like okay i'll go splash water on my face and all. So i went back to him with a soaked face, trying to really enlighten him. Ha yes, so i guess he now knows that people's faces do turn red sometimes, you know.

Oh yeah, he wants me to put all my fringe up, or he'll cut it off. I never knew there was like a limit to how long a girl could keep her hair. And goodness, there are like a million people out there with fringes like mine.

Note to myself: MONDAY IS TIE DAY

2007-09-14T02:26:00.000+08:00

I wish my life was this song
Because songs they never die
I could write for years and years
And never have to cry, I’d show you how I feel
Without saying a word
I could wrap up both our hearts
I know it sounds absurd

And I saw the tears on your face
I shot you down and I slammed the door
But couldn’t make a sound
So please stay sweet my dear
Don’t hate me now
I can't tell how, this last song ends

The way that I feel tonight so down, so down
I pray I can swim just so I won't drown
In the waves that crash over me
I'm gasping for air
Take my hand so I can breath
As I write this last song down

And I saw the tears on your face I shot you down
And I slammed the door but couldn’t make a sound
So please stay sweet my dear
Don’t hate me now
I can't tell how, this last song ends

The broken glass your moistened skin
Was everything, was everything

And your broken voice was quivering
You're everything, you're everything

Scream at me make it the best I ever heard
Laugh out loud I know it sounds absurd

Scream at me make it the best I ever heard
You're everything, you're everything

Heart beats slowing, pains are growing
Does she love you, that’s worth knowing

Heart beats slowing, pains are growing
Does she love you, that’s worth knowing

Scream at me.

2007-09-10T23:15:00.000+08:00

Is it true that God collects all the tears you've cried in your life time and keeps them safe in little bottles? How does life become so fragile that you're so preoccupied with making sure that it doesn't slip away? How can one breathe easy when keeping watch over someone else's breath? God protects all your loved ones, doesn't He? But isn't life after all the cycle of life- babies are born and people leave the face of the earth forever? Our time is so short. Can't we have a little more of it? To make a few wrongs right and to savour every precious moment.

When are you given clearance to complain about how life treats you? Why does hitting rock bottom seem harder and harder?

I am honestly so screwed for the upcoming exams and pw is killing me, IT'S KILLING ME. I'm not ready for a lot of things. But life gets you prepared by not letting you prepare, right?

Dear God, can i have some more time with mummy, please?

2007-09-10T01:07:00.000+08:00

1. I HATE PW WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL
2. More videos :D

2007-09-09T00:33:00.000+08:00

Please watch everything! (teehee)

I would really like to try short hair out in this life time of mine. I've been home with gastric flu or something, it stinks. I think, i've not done satisfying shopping in a long long while. October is coming up, lots and lots of birthdays! (I can see that i'm totally random with each sentence talking about something entirely different.)

That I want you here tonight
And I need you by my side
For just one more moment
For just one more moment with you

I think it's weird when people call me by name. And that's weird. Because, it's my name.

2007-09-07T14:42:00.000+08:00

Thank God it's friday

I was playing tetris on the sofa (i still can't believe i spent 5 bucks downloading it) when my mum called me:

Mum: Shann!!!!!!!! Listen to class 95 now there's a nice song!!! Hurry!!
Shann: (I switched on the radio) Oh it's chasing cars by snow patrol
Mum: OH so nice, download for me okay

Haha, sometimes i feel that my mum and i switch roles. I FEEL LIKE HAVING XIAO LONG BAOOOOOOOS

2007-09-06T14:23:00.000+08:00

If rulers were made for us to draw straight lines with,

why was my ruler made crooked?

2007-09-05T23:49:00.000+08:00

Father, you are King above the floods,
and i will be still, and know, you're God.

One thing to say: doing nothing is highly addictive!!

I had a hearty dinner with my parents just now, i swear my body is screaming for exercise, it Needs exercise. It's not just the (fatty) issue, i also feel unbelievably unfit.

My mum almost threw away my thumb drive. You know, my thumb drive which contains every single important school related thing (including pw crap).

We had bio practical the other day and we had to handle large tadpoles. When i say large, i really mean Large. They were the biggest tadpoles i have ever seen in my life. They were not your typical pond tadpoles but like easily 10 cm long. I emphasize again, THEY WERE HUGE. And, we were forced to shut up, to be totally professional and made to look like we were in love with them. Everyone was freaking out hahaha while i personally found it quite entertaining actually. (I have 4 puny tiny tiny frogs at home) So, i didn't really have a problem with handling them hahaha i'm so weird. The scary part was that we had to place them in different beakers of water of different temperatures. MY TADPOLE OVERTURNED WHEN I PLACED IT INTO THE 45 DEGREES BEAKER.

And i was totally stunned and i said, erm Mr Yeow, i think my tadpole is dying. And he said, don't worry it'll recover and i was like ohhhkayyy. I almost relaxed before i turned to my classmate who was seated beside me and her tadpole's mouth was freaking wide open and i started going crazy in the lab screaming the "tadpoles are dying!!" (They did die)

Halfway through, i think everyone started going a little nutty. I swear i heard someone trying to cast a spell from Harry Potter at the tadpoles. Other than that, the girls on my right were starting to talk to them, like "don't worry, this will be the last one okay? don't be scared okay?.... come on it'll be over soon.." Hilarrrrious classmates hahaha

The power of tadpoles :D

MONDAY DEC 10 SQ 346 0105 / 0750 SIN / ZURICH

FRIDAY DEC 22 SQ 365 1200 / 0605 ROME / SIN

YAY HOLIDAY!

2007-09-05T02:17:00.000+08:00

(My new wallpaper, teehee)

Save me. I am Awfully bored. My groupmates came over yesteday to finish up our written report and only then did i find out HOW NEAR THE PROMOS WERE, OMG. (I shouldn't even ask myself why this always happens haha) Hahaha i swear i have been living a dream.

And so, i've officially started studying. I did my differentiation tutorial (which was due pretty damn long ago) but i didn't even finish it :( it was such a pain in the ass.

I've a sudden urge to close my friendster account. It's 2:30 now. I don't think i would be able to sleep even if i wanted to because i slept for 5 hours in the afternoon hahaha. I couldn't take it when i came back from school, i just died. I really died. Pw really killed me, this is the most tired i've been since like forever.

I'm seated in the living room right now and i've realised that random family members of mine come out at random timings to look for food. (Kinda cute/amusing actually) And the conversation always goes like this:
"hi shann" (while walking to the kitchen)
"you want some?" (while walking away)

Have i mentioned that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE SPILL CANVAS.

"Rose are red, violets are blue, blah blah blah but not as sweet as you" I don't know whether i'll go aww or burst out laughing if someone were to say that to me one day haha.

2007-09-03T00:42:00.000+08:00

Where'd you go? I miss you so.

2007-09-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

Stumbled upon this picture and i like it.

I was in seven eleven the other day and i didn't have cash with me so i thought that i'd just pay by nets or something. I queued (for a relatively long time) and so when it was my turn at the counter, it turned out that i couldn't pay by nets because someone forgot to do something to the machine or whatever (it was preventable that is). Then i told the guy "oh but i don't have cash with me now" and he responded by just taking everything away from the counter and putting it behind while giving me the no-money-shoo look and i was like WHAT THE HFIDSKLGUHRJUJFDOKS. I was planning to just use my coins to buy a drink but NO ohhh, he had to take everything away, that rude bitch. So yes, i walked out of that bloody place, with my coins.

2007-08-30T00:39:00.000+08:00

As people act, so they become.

Lately, i've been having weird urges to take up things i used to like doing, like drawing, gardening and baking. I remember at my old place, my dad got the gardener to specially dig up a certain area for me in the garden for me to do all my gardening. I remember i had balsams, chilli, tomatoes, lady's fingers and sunflowers which grew taller than my sister. And i remember how we used to catch and remove the snails in the garden or how we got totally fascinated whenever we caught earthworms. I remember we found a bird with a broken wing and we took care of it until it was ready to fly again. It was really nice letting it fly away free.

I wish i didn't stop drawing. I don't even know why i stopped. I just hope that it's not lost. I realised that i talk a lot about the past. I like the past. I'm leading life so carelessly now that i don't think i would be able to talk about anything in the years to come, or remember anything significant. It's like having a whole section of your life missing or fast forwarded on tape.

I didn't go to school today, it felt like my insides were spinning around. I think a fever's coming down too but ohwells.

I wanted to become a doctor. What was your child ambition?

2007-08-28T00:02:00.000+08:00

"That which begins, must also end."

2007-08-25T21:38:00.000+08:00

Do not speak as loud as my heart
You don't know how lovely you are

Sometimes, don't you wish that when the going gets tough, you (the tough) gets going? Haha, or don't you wish that there would be a period in life that even when there were exams and stress was pounding on you, you never once resorted to screaming and whining on your blog and being the good old emo kid?

I think the national geographic channel is addictive. I love learning about the world's deadliest snakes and sharks and tigers and fishes and elephants and cows and pigs and dogs and cats and rabbits. AND in every 4 million lobsters, there is a bright blue lobster!! I think i'm acting shit retarded now but i'm praying hard that i'll catch a bright blue lobster somewhere in life.

Bio is crazy, only someone crazy would take bio. And, only someone crazy enough like me would like bio in the Olevels, And, only someone weird would psycho herself to love bio so that studying it would be slightly more bearable. (Me.)

The building blocks of nucleic acids are known as nucleotides. Each nucelotide is made up of a nitrogenous base, pentose sugar, phosphoric acid. Each nitrogenous base is made up of either pyrimidines or purines which in turn are made up of cytosine, tymine for DNA or cytosine, uracil in RNA and adenine and guanine respectively. Pentose sugars are ribose, or deoxyribose in RNA and DNA. A nitrogenous base linked to a sugar = nucleoside. THEN, they tell you that phosphoric acid + nucleoside = nucleotide AND nucleotides are nucleoside phosphates. WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST STICK WITH THE EACH NUCLEOTIDE IS MADE UP OF NITROGENOUS BASES, PENTOSE SUGAR AND PHOSPHORIC ACID PART.

And, i think that it seems like i must have been bloody bored and weird to have typed all that out, well that's because i was, am.

I have a sudden liking for specs again. Specs it is on monday!

2007-08-25T20:06:00.000+08:00

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2007-08-25T19:37:00.000+08:00

and we whisper, " say what you're thinking out loud."

So please don't cry
Although I leave you here this night
Where ever I may go how far I don't know
But I will always be your light

That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away

When the days all seem the same
Don't feet the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
When the days all seem the same
Don't feet the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone

2007-08-21T16:23:00.000+08:00

Title of art piece: We decided to draw flowers all over our notes during lecture.

And so, Joey decided to trim her hair halfway through class. (oh, take note of my favourite really puny pair of scissors)

Very recently, even sleeping at twelve everynight doesn't seem to be working for me anymore, it's making me a zombie. Floorball would never be my best friend, the stick does far from wonders once it's in my hands.

"I should be a bee man, because people pay more attention to it." I was half asleep before i burst into laughter when my econs teacher said that today. (A bee was flying around in class) Maybe i should start paying attention to him, tee hee.

2007-08-20T01:15:00.000+08:00

Your Guardian Angel

When I see your smile
tears roll down my face
I can't replace

And now that I'm strong I have figured out
how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul,
and I know I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
and stars are falling all for us
days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cause you're my
you're my, my
my true love
my whole heart
please don't throw that away

Cause I'm here, for you
please don't walk away and
please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and I know I'll be okay
though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven

2007-08-18T00:05:00.001+08:00

You're just all alone sometimes, i swear.

2007-08-15T22:57:00.000+08:00

This is what i would like to say to all the dear people i utterly dislike in this world: roll over and die

2007-08-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

Haha, my mum emailed these to me:

2007-08-12T00:39:00.000+08:00

I love you

My fellow losers :)

Nicole's foot

Babe from LA

The Equinox

The view from the 70th floor

The Padang

Singapore looking at its best

Buildings on fire

Outburst of Beauty

2007-08-11T00:08:00.000+08:00

Your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night,
This idle hour just wont pass

I miss our midnight rides on highway 18,
18 is gone

2007-08-07T00:42:00.000+08:00

Tender Surrender

Aww, the little boy fell asleep, oh so nicely.

HAHA

2007-08-05T23:45:00.000+08:00

Big girls don't cry.

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

I miss a lot of things.

I was having lunch with my mum at the pines today and it occurred to me how much i missed her being much younger and well. It scares me when i see her so frail and weak. It frightens the hell out of me when i see the lady who has taken care of me all my life needing care from me. And now as i get older, my mum is growing to be like a best friend and sitting down, talking to her could almost pause time and lighten my heart. I only hope she'll get better soon.

Then i went to the toilet and when i closed the cubicle door, memories just surged through me. I remember once, when my sister and i were really young and we were in the states, we were in the toilet. I was waiting for her when she started crying and banging the door and i started panicking. She couldn't unlock the door and she got scared. I must have been five and she three years of age. I remember squeezing under the door into the cubicle to pull her out. An older sister will always been an older sister. I'll always have this urge to protect her. I wonder whether it's still the same now, when obviously i don't have control over her and when she's growing up so fast. There are certain issues which i'm actually worried about but some things have changed. She's a big girl now.

I was looking through my old things just now and i found this neoprint of zenn and i. It was taken when he was awfully young, when he was still very much skinny and had hair til his ears. I was holding him upside down and he was laughing. I remember that day, when i brought him out, i was explaining to him how the machine worked and was trying to keep him happy all the time. He laughed just like how any little kid would. He was a little boy, who would laugh when i made silly faces at him. Now he's so stubborn. Maybe it's a phase. I honestly forgot the times when he was young and i took full care of him.

I miss the times when my dad was in singapore more often. I miss the times when i could have dinner with him on a weekday, or when his face didn't carry such a tired look all the time. I miss the times when we had so much time to go out as a family to do practically nothing. Maybe, it could be worse, but i've already accepted seeing him four times, having dinner with him, twice a month.

When dodie went back to the philippines, i cried my heart out. How could you let go of someone you've been with for fifteen years, which is practically your whole life? And i remember, i put this song on repeat and cried myself to sleep;

Make this ride as fast as I can
Tonight this road home feels a little longer
I hope you know that you were my best friend
Tonight I said goodbye, but I should have said more
Thanks for the best time of my life.
Come home, now that you're gone I've finally realized
That you were the best
Come home, I won't forget the times that we had
I'm wishing that you weren't a part of my past
Emptiness swallows this town
From now on I will be alone for good
Will you remember my name?
I'm hoping that I will hear from you soon
Thank you for everything
Come home, now that you're gone I've finally realized
That you were the best
Come home, I won't forget the times that we had
So please don't be a part of my past

2007-08-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

A melody, a memory, or just one picture

i tripped over really untrip-able (totally flat) floor.

2007-07-29T22:25:00.000+08:00

Mum: the doctor says i lack exercise

Me: oh, when was the last time you actually jogged mum. (i was expecting to hear like 10 years ago or something)

Mum: hmmm.. when i was 15?

Me: MUMMM!!!!! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!! (she's 53)

2007-07-29T01:08:00.000+08:00

How i spent my time in stnicks:

The second you're made to move on, you start screaming and kicking and banging the gates, begging them to take you back.

Time always feels wasted. You always feel as though too many things have slipped out of your hands, all too easily.

2007-07-26T22:14:00.000+08:00

One day, i am going to write out a long list of things which annoy me, haha and of course perhaps also a list of things i love. I am reading the 7th Harry Potter book as fast as i can now because the whole world is trying to slip me the story, haha to those people: I REALLY AND SINCERELY, REALLLY, REALLY DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE ENDING YET. I almost killed my sister, and drucey lucy has been trying to use it, to threaten me into doing things. You know, like "Dumbledore...." and i'd be like OKAY OKAY OKAY. I've been utterly busy with pw, and i had to finish the 6th before starting on the 7th so, as i said, i'm finishing it, :)

Don't you hate it when people squeeze all the way from the back of the train right to the exits when it's about to arrive at the next stop, especially when you're actually standing right infront of the exit and people Just have to squeeze right infront of you, a hobby of theirs perhaps. On good days, i'll just increase the volume of my ipod and think of good ice cream, while letting them have the thrill of pushing their chests against the door of the train right under my nose. On not so good days, (like just now), i'd just gently pretend i didn't hear the "CUSE MEE", and stay rooted to the very spot that i'd be standing, so that they would be able to see me, and feel like idiots when they realise that i got off the same stop as them.

I'm currently indulging in pretty damn good cookies now, yum :)

2007-07-23T23:05:00.000+08:00

I am So weird. After posting the last entry, haha, i went to the kitchen to make green tea. I came back, i read my the entry again and i was like myyy goodness, what a depressed little girl. I'm getting disturbed by my outbursts of emotions, so here i am, using weirdness to dilute my emoness, tee hee.

Here are pictures of the Banana Shoot a pretty long while back, courtesy of Eng EE Loo (gosh i miss you). We had such fun.

2007-07-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

This is war.

Coordinate brain and mouth, then ask me what its like to have my self so figured out. Wish I knew.

I'm falling sick. Flu just popped out of nowhere (really)

Do you believe in friends? You know, when you actually open yourself up and let someone come close to you. When you start sharing a part of you. That's why it'll hurt. I don't know whether i have problems judging or i'm just plain dumb with things.

I mean there was a period of time i said hey, maybe there Is a reason why we've been put together. You try to put everything aside and love that friend. And things get so hard because you can't just try to forget about everything (how nice and easy) because YOU ACTUALLY CARE AND YOU DO GIVE A SHIT. So it just hangs there and isn't that just so fucked up?

Somehow i believe that we have to go through almost everything in life, from the loss of a loved one, to failing in school, to getting hurt by friends, all kinds of shit pierce right through you. Some things hurt and some things hurt a lot. I wonder whether it'll hit a point where nothing hurts you anymore. Maybe that's the reason why it has always seemed so easy for adults to just say forget it, or it's not worth it. And you know they really mean it when they say forget it. That is most likely because, they have gone through it before.

Well honestly, i'm really struggling with this. I don't know why it bothers me so much but i can't help feeling this way about things like that. I really can't have peace of mind when relationships don't go right.

Why am i even blogging about such shit, i, don't, blog, about, personal things. Recently i've been feeling so closed up. It feels as though i'm too tired to even just tell someone and let it all out. I'm really too tired to cry, i swear. Sometimes, i don't know how to even when i want to do so. How do you put all your feelings thoughts and emotions into words? It's true that you wouldn't understand unless i let you know how i feel but isn't it also true that you wouldn't fully understand everything, bascially because you can't feel the exact emotions? However, it'd be really nice if someone could just sit with you and stay silent with you while you know that that someone knows exactly how you're feeling or thinking. For me, i'd feel better if i were to stay in a quiet corner, listen to a few good songs and be really still in thought, than to tell someone everything. I'm really sorry for complaining so much.

Every line is about who I don’t want to write about anymore. Hope you come down with something they can’t diagnose, Don’t have the cure for. Holding on to your grudge, Oh it’s so hard to have someone to love. And keeping quiet is hard, Cause you can’t keep a secret if it never was a secret to start. At least pretend you didn’t want to get caught.

We're concentrating on falling apart. We were contenders, now we’re throwing the fight. I just want to believe, in us.

2007-07-13T18:54:00.000+08:00

Down Right Lousy Week.

2007-07-12T00:08:00.000+08:00

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

druce --

Sexually stunning

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

haha anyway, i think they change results all the time. But still,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2007-07-11T23:03:00.000+08:00

Got this from Melly:

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

shann --

Smelling like turnips at all times

SMELLING LIKE TURNIPS ALL THE TIME? Are they kidding me haha, i demand, to be renamed. I mean, apparently melissa means " an immortal", and i,

smell like turnips all the time :(

2007-07-11T22:39:00.000+08:00

Dearest blog,

we were playing floorball during pe yesterday, nice unstressful game (with 22 persons on court), with perfectly good sticks and a nice little ball, little.

So, the ball flew into the air, spun around amazingly andddddddd HIT ME RIGHT IN THE FACE.
So, my upper lip started bleeding. (ew)
So, my lip was swollen, (ew)
So, i guess i looked like a goldfish during chinese oral. (EW)

"Auntie, could you give me some ice please, erm because i got hit by a ball."

Aside, here are the new additions to our family!

Don't ask me why zenn named them snowball and dash
(they are both girls by the way)

2007-07-09T22:07:00.000+08:00

You Are 50% Extrovert, 50% Introvert

You're a bit outgoing, a bit reserved
Like most people, you enjoy being social
But you also value the time you have alone
You have struck a good balance!

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

You Are An INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards.
You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings.

At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values.
You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak

What's Your Personality Type?

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

2007-07-08T01:33:00.000+08:00

I was never good at goodbyes

This week, i attended both a funeral and a wedding ceremony. I witnessed a lady vowing to love her husband, promising to keep him in sickness and in health. I witnessed one of the happiest days of her life, the beginning of a new chapter with her other half. I also witnessed another lady, tired out by life, crying her heart over the loss of her husband: her partner, her best friend, her love.

Then i realised something, i could easily picture myself standing in her place perhaps fifty years from now, trying to deal with the sudden cruel loss of someone you've been with almost all your life.

I remember reading the words off the lady's shirt, "God is watching over me". And i really felt sad, i felt so sad. I knew no one on this earth could do anything at all to make her feel better, to return her a piece of her heart.

Isn't it so difficult to suddenly sleep one night, alone? The still quiet night would be deafening, with grief attacking the heart, right at the core, all over again.

Finding someone you love, who loves you just the same, is absolutely a gift from God. And, it's one for you to treasure.

2007-07-04T23:58:00.000+08:00

"I had to find you, tell you i need you, tell you i set you apart"

I, am in an extremely jumpy mood now, damn that time of the month. School has started and i never knew the weather could get so hot and dry. Chem practical on tuesday was such a major screw up. I really promise i have never been so scared during a paper before, my hands were shaking so badly and i could barely write as i was rushing it out. School was utterly disappointing today as well. Oh wait, i never expected anything out of school so i guess that doesn't count.

I was trying to do up my layout just now until i got so frustrated and i simply used this old template which i can hardly see the words on. I was looking hard for this html code which i forgot and i tried blog hopping to see if i could find the stuff i was looking but oh my shit, there was this really retarded blog which had links of which 90% were like not working, i wanted to kill something. (please bear in mind that i'm terribly mood swinging now.)

WHY DOESN'T 7-11 HAVE MY INSTANT BEE-HOON, MY INSTANT BEE-HOON HOON HOON HOON, I WANT SUPPPPPPER!! SCREW 7-11, THAT CONVENIENCE STORE WHICH CAUSED ME SO DAMN MUCH INCONVENIENCE.

BLOODDDDY RABBIT. I SO DO NOT WANT TO DRAG MYSELF OUT OF BED AT 6 FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW.

2007-07-02T02:37:00.000+08:00

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it any where
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, Louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think i might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, Louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower, slower
We don't have time for that
All I want's to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart, my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if its just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you can not hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

2007-06-26T19:52:00.000+08:00

Your hands are shaking cold, these hands are meant to hold.

Have i mentioned about how i've not forgiven the school for putting bio and econs on the same day. I mean, BIO AND ECONS, which freak can manage both huge ass hardcore crazy shit studying subjects? Sheesh, the studying was seriously not friendly, it really killed my brain.

Halfway through the awful three hour paper, my brain was just still. I really wasn't thinking but just writing whatever came to my head when i saw certain key words on the paper. And no, that wasn't enough, the econs paper (yes another 2 1/2 hours) was really really bad. I wanted to laugh at myself for writing such stupid things while my hand was crammmming away.

http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/games/throwrocks.html
Here, for my fellow sufferers. I like throwing rocks at boys, :)

Well i think, that one of the hardest things in the world to be is, a nerd. I think it's a gift to be able to be a good successful, productive one. I'm such a failed one :(

2007-06-24T14:18:00.000+08:00

"It is unreasonable to you because it's okay for you. It's okay because you're having your fun. And when you're having fun, you do it all over again. You get lost in smiles and moments and you forget about the person standing beside you. Nothing really doesn't matter to you sometimes. You can't make sense of the flaring or understand the pain. My world is paused, teared up when you enter another of your own. You thought i'd be okay, well i wasn't. And you found out only after everything. Why? Well didn't i tell you that nothing really mattered sometimes?

Maybe, some things are never said because only I would understand. Maybe, i am to blame: i deemed you perfect. Because, no one is.

Maybe, i should start trying to understand that."

Can you sleep as the sound hits your ears?
One at a time,
An unspoken balance here
Unabridged for so many years
That I should stare at receivers
To receive her
isn't fair

Still breaking old habits, habits,
You pulled the wool over me,
Now I can see everything,
Everything,
Remembering,
Jinx removing

No need for reminding,
You're still all that matters to me

fuck the mid years, fuck the shit out of them.

2007-06-24T00:57:00.000+08:00

Time for the quote of the day from the boyfriend:

"You are a shit." (note the, a shit)

2007-06-22T10:20:00.000+08:00

I want to strangle my sister.

End of Story.

Well the story actually goes like this, i went to bed at 2 plus last night but mel called me just before i slept so i talked to her til about five. And so, i woke up at 8 o'clock so that i could have breakfast with my dear sister. We had toast and eggs the last time round and we were supposed to go to macs today but Anyway. I felt so, so damn, shagged but i pulled myself out of bed (to be the nicest sister in the world yes) so that i wouldn't dissssappoint her. But, BUT i spent like the longest time in the world trying to wake her up, dragging her out bed, pulling off the blanket, switching the air con off, talking to her groggy face, tickling her toes and doing who knows what only to want to punch her.

I am never going to trust fourteen year olds again, not annnnyyyymore. My goodness, breakfast would have been so good :(

I think it's hilarious that i'm blogging and complaining to myself about how my sister denied me of breakfast. Well aside, I'M GOING BACK TO BED.

2007-06-20T17:52:00.000+08:00

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Got to be more than hoping it's right
I want to hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me tired with joy

With my hands open
And my eyes open
I just keep hopin'
That your heart opens

HAHAHA, oh my goodness, although i'm not exactly in the best of moods of blog right now, i am way too amused with really how freaking retarded i am. I was looking at some photograph with the caption "with the chio bus there" AND so, i was looking hard, high and low for an apparently very pretty bus. You Know, the vehicle which transports people around which might have been very nicely designed or decorated Until it Finally occured to me that the person meant, chio bu-s (uh referring to the beings with actual life in the photograph) and my eyes totally popped out. I am so fated to be (mono)lingual.

**** I'M STUPID hahaha

2007-06-19T14:52:00.000+08:00

Hello, good morning, how You do?
What makes Your risin' sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

Look at what i've found, hahaha. This was taken:

When we were all still in CJ, when qin was still in singapore and jan still had long fringe, when i last saw ru, the last time i went shopping with both michelle and jan, the last time we all skipped school together, the last time the 4 of us took a picture together,

and, this was taken only a few months ago, so look how the world flies past you.

That's why pictures are so beautiful, they capture moments, and preserve what you're unable to keep, forever.

2007-06-19T01:00:00.000+08:00

i think,
that sending me home from your place all the time is absolutely sweet of you.

2007-06-17T23:36:00.000+08:00

"You are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me."

Things to do after the mid years:

Play guitar
Redecorate my room
Make a new layout
Buy socks
Make smoothies
Buy cactus (?)
Buy a photo album
Finish up my book

Oh someone please remind me not to ever, EVER use a red marker to underline my notes EVER again. I can't study this chapter because i'm terribly disturbed by the underlining, haha.

Damn i need new heels because the pair i always wear totally gave way when i was chasing zenn around the other day. The things which happen to me.

2007-06-16T21:52:00.000+08:00

Drucey lucy knows what i like best! And, i like this video.

I’m holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I’m hearing what you say
But I just can’t make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait
You tell me that you’re sorry
Didn’t think I’d turn around and say

That it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late

I’d take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But that's nothing new)
Yeah yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it’s turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I’m afraid

It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologizes, it’s too late

It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, yeah yeah
I said it’s too late to apologize, a yeah

I’m holding your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground

2007-06-16T20:40:00.000+08:00

I think blogging has become rather stagnant all around. I am, a loser. My brother has gone to his friend's place for a stay over and my sister is out, while i'm staring at the same dumb page of econs i was at before dinner. My tutor is awfully worried about me, hahaha.

It's so sad when the holidays do not feel like the holidays at all. I definitely hope the christmas season would be better. I've been having rather weird cravings lately. You know, really weird, cravings. Oh yes, i think the cravings come along side with weird dreams. I've also been dreaming of things of the past, things which happened long long ago. Talk about moving forward in life.

Nothing interesting has been happening actually. I restarted my tamagotchi! I know i'm really Retarded, but it seriouslllllly amuses me. My tamagotchi hates bananas, loves fries and shits a hell lot.

My mum has always been a little nutty but i swear it's really getting crazy these days. We were in the car the other day and there was some other car or van infront of us and my mum read "alphard" from behind the vehicle, THEN, she totally started laughing to herself going "i'll fart", "I"ll, Fart", i frowned at her and went, Erm MUM? But that didn't stop her from amusing herself. It made me laugh in fact.

When someone hurts you, you learn something new about them. You're made to take a step back and look at the person from a different angle. Maybe the closer the person is to you, the more it hurts. The closer you are to the person, the more the person knows how to hurt you.

2007-06-16T00:58:00.000+08:00

absolutely worth watching!

erm, singapore has talent too!
(haha)

2007-06-14T14:21:00.001+08:00

I hope my smile
can distract you
I hope my fists
can fight for two
So it never has to show
And you’ll never know

I hope my love
can blind you
I hope my arms
can bind you
So you’ll never have to see
What we’ve grown to be

One may think
we’re alright
But we need pills
to sleep at night
We need lies
to make it through the day
We’re not ok

One may think
we’re doing fine
But if I had to lay it on the line
We’re losing ground
with every passing day
We’re not ok

But that’s one thing
I would never
One thing I would never
That’s one thing
I would never say to you

I just thought that this song was really beautiful, gosh i love the perishers.

2007-06-14T00:58:00.000+08:00

Jan's My Stalker, :)

Then, we got chased out of coffee bean. "Oh, excuse me, we're closing for the night."

OH this is proof of the great things i can do. I totally wore my shirt the wrong way after i tried something on and Jan wanted to capture, and preserve my stupidity, hahaaa

"It's so cold!!!!" hahaha i was laughing so much at this picture. she looks like a little ant hole.

Studying,
Studying,
Studying?
Haha i insisted on taking this while crossing the road, while jan was desperately trying to save our lives. Too bad it's not a very pretty shot.

2007-06-07T23:05:00.000+08:00

Some kind of metaphor that I can't see?
So, I'll drink until I see it
This sky will make me sick
So, I'll give up on you
I'll give up on this
This sky will make me sick
I'll give up on this
I'll give up on you

Archers in your arches
Raise your fingers for one last salute
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine

do you miss,
you?

2007-06-05T23:54:00.000+08:00

I love this song.

I talk to you as to a friend
I hope that’s what you’ve come to be
It feels as though we’ve made amends
Like we found a way eventually
It was you who picked the pieces up
When I was a broken soul
And then glued me back together
Returned to me what others stole

I don’t wanna hurt you
I don’t wanna make you sway
Like I know I’ve done before
I will not do it anymore
I’ve always been a dreamer
I’ve had my head among the clouds
Well now that I’m coming down
Won’t you be my solid ground

I look at you and see a friend
I hope that’s what you wanna be
Are we back now where it all began
Have you finally forgiven me
You gathered my dreams in
When they all blew away
And then tricked ’em back into me
You saved me I was almost dead

I don’t wanna hurt you
I don’t wanna make you sway
Like I know I’ve done before
I will not do it anymore
I’ve always been a dreamer
I’ve had my head among the clouds
Well now that I’m coming down
Won’t you be my solid ground

I don’t wanna hurt you
Like I know I’ve done before
I will not do it anymore

I don’t wanna hurt you
I don’t wanna make you sway
Like I know I’ve done before
I will not do it anymore
I’ve always been a dreamer
I’ve had my head among the clouds
Well now that I’m coming down
Won’t you be my solid ground

2007-06-05T12:33:00.000+08:00

I'm not happy with my layout again, haha am i being too picky? I just get quite disturbed when my entries do not match my layout. Maybe i should just stick to black and white.

Anyway, i woke up ridiculously early for tuition this morning. It has been a while since i last took the train in the morning. When i stepped onto the train, it was, still. No phone ringings, no chatter, no sound. I looked around and everyone had the same expression on their faces. No smiles. Then i realised that i blended in with them and i appreciated the silence too. I would have killed anyone who broke the peace. There are times when you just stare at nothing and subconsciously listen to your own heart beating.

Then just some two hours later, it was a different sight, people hurried around, and the ringing of phones filled the train. It was time to get cracking.

Why are we so tired? And what's going to happen if we feel tired all our lives? Sometimes life feels like a routine. You make your own choices but there is still a certain path which you have to take. As for now, i still do not know what i want to do in the future, and it makes me feel aimless.

I'd be happy to start work, have my own family, or basically move into fifteen years from now. Then again, i don't want some things to change. I don't want to see my parents grow old, i don't want to see them go. For everything that is given to you, something is also taken away from you.

Well, while i was standing on the train, the person seated down beside me received a msg. (I promise the temptation was too great to resist) So i read the msg, haha. It went something like "lols, i'm wearing brown.. meeting at the bus stop ritez..?" Haha, there, your very own real life example. My eyes just popped out at the word ritez hahahaha.

Haha, i have always associated the world lols with lollipops.

2007-06-05T02:52:00.001+08:00

All hail, the chilllli crab.

2007-06-04T01:26:00.000+08:00

it's only you, beautiful,
or I don't want anyone.
if I can choose, it's only you.

Goodness, dinner was orgasmic, PARMA HAM, SEAFOOD SOUP (it was !!fhdisklfjis!!), SALAD, LAMB SHANK, WHITE WINE AND MY DARLING SUMMER BERRY SORBET! I'd be willing to live on italian food my whole damn life. And i finally got my raspberries! Hahaha food always makes life worth living.

Ive not been able to get a taste of the great singapore sale yet. Im just waiting for the chance to pounce on everything and solve my serious lack of clothes. Oh yes a haircut would really make my day too. Haha i've watched so tv shows the past few days that it's beginning to tire my eyes out.

Now, i've this sudden urge to play tennis.

2007-06-02T18:31:00.000+08:00

hahaha i look like a dog

mel carried me,

mel dropped me.

the highlight! haha our little cottage

the traditional pillow fight

fall mel, fall

What an angst-filled little opening entry, haha. On a lighter note, i love sleeping. I swear i lovvve sleeping. When i go to bed in the afternoon and i look at the time when i get up, it toally thrills me to know that i had slept for 4 hours straight. Maybe it's because my body alarm clock wakes me up at 9 every morning.

Yesterday was f-u-n, or perhaps this morning. Mel came over last night at about midnight. It was such a sudden decision haha, but i was absolutely delighted by the baos she brought over. Goodness, we were such mad bitches, i love mel. I just looked at the pictures again and sheesh we Were crazy haha, or maybe it's just going back to, good old childhood.

When was the last time you laughed so loudly?

I read something interesting, "It is believed that some violent criminals suffer from face blindness. They can't read emotions of their victims and so can't empathize with them." That is just so terribly scary.

2007-06-01T03:16:00.000+08:00

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
Call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

I can't believe i'm blogging again. I wonder whether blogging is talking to yourself or talking to the world. I honestly hate this year. So much dreadful shit has happened. So much, that it forces you to grow up. How do you even find peace with yourself? No, i don't feel like i'm on holiday. I'm not studying for the mid years either. There's just something very wrong with me and i have no idea what's wrong. I'm just waking up each day and spending it aimlessly. What a good waste of life.

Actually, i do like being unproductive.

Now who the hell orders mcdonalds at three am. I can feel my ass growing already.